Love is a question mark.

Most teenagers like me already experienced love. I know that because my friends has but not me. Not 'til I graduate from college. I will do all my best to block that kind of distraction. It's better for Social Networking site and games to distract me but love? A resounding NO. In our world today, there are a lot of teenagers who's becoming pregnant and are facing their doom. That doom started with love, love started with a crush. They don't study anymore because they have to mother a child. Being a mother is not a joke, it's not that easy like you play in the game The Sims. Even in The Sims, it's also hard to take care a baby. You need to wake up to feed them in the middle of night and cradle them to let them fall asleep. Not to mention the money you need to spend for a baby. Teenagers who are mothers in a young age clearly doesn't have an income to buy the things a baby needs. Plus the regular check-up and immunizations of a baby is a must and it costs a lot. It's also sad to say that in our country, young teens that are working for extra money is being look down to. Not like in America, it's a normal stuff to do and they accept it. No discrimination. Being a young mother in this country is just hard. Yes, you might say that love do not always lead to pregnancy but I say, eventually it will. You will never guess unless you have a boyfriend that cares about both of your futures, really cares about you and truly loves you. He'll know the best for both of you if he's in the right mind. So yeah. Love is a question mark for me. It's not that I have no idea about what it is. I know a lot about that. I am fully aware of what can it do to a person. It can make you insane and really insane when a guy breaks your heart. I agree, it is a great feeling but I know it also can be the worst feeling in the world. So I'm weighing its pros and cons and decided it's still a question in my life. Love will define its meaning when I'm in the right age, when it's the right time and it is the right place. Right now, I'm just up to reading lovely quotes about love and appreciating it. Some of those quotes are not really reality though, unless as I said you found your Mr. 100% Right. I won't go beyond the quotes. For me, those are just words that ticks someone's fantasy for now. Until then, who knows?

I had a freaky daymare :|

Yes, a daymare as I call it because it was a nightmare that happened in the day. It was freaky as hell, you know. It was earlier today at exactly 12:51pm. I know because I checked my phone time. I decided to take a nap and set my alarm at 3 pm so that when I wake up I'll do my home work and journal. At first, my 2-hour nap was dreamless and I woke up at the sound of my alarm but then I decided it was too early and took a nap again. It happened in my second nap. It was creepy because I remember being in a hall watching some show with my cousin and her boyfriend. It was an opera or something and it was entertaining and amazing. Then I don’t know what happened and the scene suddenly switched into me, my cousin inside the car and her boyfriend driving out of the hall’s parking lot. Then I find myself watching another scene and it was unrelated to the opera-watching and now my cousin and her boyfriend are gone. It was a scene in a school, I suppose, because it has a locker room and a hallway with a lot of doors. The locker room is not like the one you can always find here like sets of lockers aligned but it was a locker room like you see on TV in American movies. It was a room which lockers are located with the showers. At first, the electricity was out and four of my girl friends and I were running in the hallway because there was this some kind of spirit of a lady that maybe you can call a ghost lady or a devilish white lady who is haunting us and when she caught us, it was really terrible. She caught us in the boys’ locker room. She caught one of my friends and I was like standing there frozen with the rest of my friends. I don’t know what to do but then my other friend jumped into action and she grabbed a candle nearby at the top of a locker. As weird as dreams are, magically, there was a lighter beside the candle. My friend lit the candle and the rest of us, snapping back to ourselves realized what’s happening. We helped our other friend who was pinned down by the ghost lady. With team work, we were able to pry off the lady off our friend and pinned her down instead. My friend placed the candle in front of the lady while we were straining to hold her off. It was not working and the ghost lady was laughing a devilish laugh. I remembered my other friend  wearing a necklace with a cross pendant so I grabbed it and held it in front of her and my other friend started praying the Apostle’s Creed. It worked; she vanished but only for awhile. We started to move out of the locker room but we saw three of our ex boy classmates. They were also hunted by a guy ghost in that building. It was a lame idea but can I control my dreams? The three guys and two of my friends searched for help and will come back for the three of us. I know there should be at least one guy who should have stayed with us. Then I found myself and two of my friends hiding at the top of a bed. That was also a lame idea. I felt someone tugging my shirt, when I looked down, it was the ghost lady. I screamed and bit her hand. She also bit my hand, so I kicked her and screamed again. My friends helped me fend her off and then the scene vanished. I woke up, sweating. I went outside my room finding the house empty. My parents are out and the helper is the only one left behind. I felt weird and groggy. Fortunately, my parents arrived a minute later. That’s the time I swear that I won’t have a 4-hour nap ever again on Sundays.

It's like it was just yesterday.

I feel that 2010 drifts so fast that I can't keep track on what's happening. I scan our pictures when we were in first year and it's like it was just yesterday that we were really close, laughing and having fun in one class in St. Gabriel. I admit, I still don't like my class now in second year. My first year experience was a whole lot better. Our bond in first year was very strong that we were really comfortable with each other. Sometimes, now that we are in second year we still find ourselves constantly hanging out with our Gabriel classmates before. We are at ease with each other not like my class this year. Yes, my class this year is the noisiest but we always fail at cooperation and teamwork. We still don't have that bond that we can say we can talk to every person in the class without awkwardness. When I was in first year, I could just hang out with anybody and have a normal conversation. I could sit with anybody without any awkward silence. Even we're noisy we have what we called team work. We don't just sit around and wait for the world to end but we all help each other during the play fest. In my class now, there are times that some of my classmates doesn't help and does useless things. In spite of all those disadvantages of my class, I'm okay with it. It's because this year's events doesn't sink into me. It's like just a dream. It's already December and next month would be another year to face. We will be in third year and I hope they'd do a better re-sectioning so that we'll all love our class. It would be another year of hardships and happiness. Well, good luck to us! :)

Love Love Love. Bahaha :P

Ayooo, maan! Guess what? Christian Beadles replied to my DM! You don't know Christian Beadles? Search him on Youtube because Youtube definitely knows who you're looking for. He's like the most awesome and my favorite Youtuber. He's actually a friend of Justin Bieber from Atlanta, Georgia and his videos were already popular even before Justin got signed by Island Def Jam Music Group. When Justin Bieber got really popular world-wide, his friends also got popular since they were with him in concerts and interviews. Christian's popularity increased when fans discovered his video with Justin doing a song mash-up before Justin was popular. Christian took it from that, he made his own name in Youtube. He uploaded enjoyable and hilarious videos with his Chipmunk voice. He took suggestions from the comments of people on his videos and he posts videos often for his fans. He was also verified on Twitter 3 months ago and being verified on Twitter is no joke. It means you're well-known and it's like you're already a celebrity. Christian's very nice because first of all he followed me back and I just tweeted him for once that he and Shane Dawson was on my Youtube homepage and a minute after he followed me. Who wouldn't leap for joy if your inspiration and a verified Twitter account followed you back and replied to your DM without you expecting it? It's like them knowing you exist and it's already a bonus. From thousands of people tweeting him to follow them back and messaging him and you were chosen. How would you feel? I was ecstatic. I tell you, it's an amazing experience. There is no boring time with The Beadles :)

Computers need maintenance

Just now, I noticed my Norton Antivirus ain't working and the white flag thingy on my Status Bar had a red X on it. It reports a lot of problems but my laptop's working fine even with problems reported. It is good to have computers but it just sucks when you need to update a lot of things when the system's reporting a lot of failures from the programs you installed. You need to maintain it's health by means of Antivirus, backups, and alike. We're all not really that good in figuring out solutions with our computer problems and so we call for a technician or someone who knows how to fix it. It's also not that easy to call a technician. They may be busy and you have to wait for the time they're free and you have to suffer the illness of your PC for the mean time. We need to love and care for our computers. It's doesn't live for long but if you take really good care of it, you'll really make good use of it.

She'll be there forever and always

She was a new student at 4th grade. At first look I thought she was the rich girl type who always speaks in English and who thinks she's all superior with all the stuff that girls want and all that. In the end, I totally got myself wrong. She's way way different than any other friend I met. She's a person who's really observant and really fun to be with. That's Katrina Velasquez. I didn't get the chance to really meet her until we were on 6th grade and we're on the same class. She always catches my attention on the first week of classes. She impresses me on how she performs in our academic classes as well as non-academic. I thought she didn't notice me for I was an average student and she was an excellent well-rounded student. Well, I was wrong all along. Our last period was P.E., as we were climbing up the stairs it happened that I was with her friends and she said good bye to all her friends and me. I was surprised that she remembered my name because she sits far across from me. That's the day I decided to be really friends with her that I thought was an impossible thing. After a week, we had new seating arrangements and I was placed in front of her. I learned a lot of things from Katrina. She shared a lot of facts to me everyday. As days go by, we became really good friends. We share experiences, advices, what we like and dislike. We talk a lot everyday. 6th grade ended and by our freshman year she had to transfer to Canada. I thought our friendship would just end there but it did not. We keep in touch through e-mail and we send e-mail to each other constantly. We still talk about a lot of things. She shares with me her plans for the future, what's happening there, her poems, stories, etc. She's also one of my few friends whom I share what I really feel and what I'm going through. We know that we'll be there for each other forever and always.

Yes I Can Always Believe In My Dreams

Say the name Bieber and all the people know who you're talking about. JBiebs, Biebs, JBieber, JB, JDB, Bieber, it's all the same. It's JUSTIN DREW BIEBER. He's considered as the most popular teenager in world. Being famous means you both have people who loves you and people who hates you. You really can't avoid people who hates you. You can't control their minds, can you? Justin is like the ideal boy of almost all the girls. He has the personality, the looks, the swag, the moves, he's a wonderful person in and out. How much more could you wish for, he's THE MAN. It's just that I really don't get the point of all those haters who's trying to bring him down. It won't get them anywhere. He love both his haters and lovers. Haters say they don't like Justin, they hate him, they hate his voice, they hate his face, then why even bother to click and re-click the dislike button on Justin's video!? They still bothered anyway. Well, I still believe that there are more people who loves Justin than the people who hates him. I am one of those people who loves him. I tell you, there's 5 million Beliebers around the world. What's a Belieber? A Belieber is a person who believes and loves Justin Drew Bieber. A Belieber knows Justin's background even before he's famous and knows a lot about Justin. They say that's obsessed, we say we're just devoted fans and we will support him no matter what. Every Belieber's dream is to at least have a glimpse at Justin moving, performing, doing his best on stage and if possible to meet him and get to know him. That has been my dream since I knew him. It would make me really happy if I can fulfill that dream. I already accepted my chances on that dream not so long ago. I have at least one chance in million chances. Giving it a shot won't hurt, right? I am up for that challenge if it's what it takes. My hope went up a little bit when he followed me back on Twitter. It was the best day. I was like screaming in front of the computer "Justin Bieber followed me back on Twitter!!' and my parents thought what happened to me. You're really lucky if Justin Bieber followed you back on Twitter because a.) He saw your name! and b.) there might be chances that he reads your tweets. I am proud to say that I am one of the 83, 154 people that he follows out of 5,065, 251 people who follows him. Even I do have little chances in my dream to come true I still believe in it. Maybe someday I could get a chance on my dream, no one knows when but I'll still be here, waiting for the opportunity. As Beliebers say: B.I.E.B.E.R= Believe In Everything Because Everything's Reachable. :D

A Beautiful Story

I know this movie was out in theaters ages ago but I just had the chance to watch it last weekend. People were telling me how wonderful and romantic this movie is and I want to see it for myself. I was bored in the middle of the night last Saturday and decided to watch it and it made me cry. Landon Carter was a bad boy who always gets his way in everything and Jaime Sullivan his total opposite. Jaime was the daughter of the Reverend, an outcast and was always bullied. One day, Landon got caught and was punished by an act of foolishness he had done in a restricted area with his friends. He got to tutor on weekends, clean some parts of the school, and have to participate on the Spring play as punishment. Jaime noticed him on Science fair and in the tutor sessions on weekends because Jaime also do tutoring in her free time. She saw him having a hard time teaching his tutee his lessons and offered him some help but he ignored her. Here comes the assigning of roles in the Spring play and Jaime got the role of the lady singing part and Landon the lead male role. Landon actually asked Jaime to help him run lines and Jaime agreed on one condition, 'not to fall in love with her'. They started run lines everyday after classes at Jaime's house. It was finally the Spring play and Landon was doing good at the first part and then Jaime comes in her pretty dress and she was dazzling. Landon was mesmerized that he forgot his lines and just said something similar to the original script. Their teacher signaled for Jaime to sing her part and there goes Jaime singing beautifully in front of the audience and all the people jolted awake. Landon then saw Jaime in a different way, clearly he likes her. At the end of the song Landon kissed Jaime but it was not part of the script and the love story began. The friends of Landon made fun of Jaime's picture from the play and Landon saved her in front of all the people. He then started doing simple but sweet things to Jaime. He gave her a pink sweater. As the days goes by, their love is getting stronger by the minute. He named a star after her, he fulfilled the wish of Jaime to be in two places at the same time, and he loved her with all his heart. The day of truth came and she had to tell him that she have Leukemia and her days are left countable. She already accepted that she have to leave the Earth someday but she never knew Landon will come to her life and make the most of it. Landon didn't believe it and he's not ready to let her go. He did all the things that he can to make her happy. He married her even if he knew that she would leave him someday and go up in the heavens. Jaime eventually left Landon but with good and happy memories. Jaime would be in Landon's heart forever and she will always watch over him. A beautiful love story of true love.

Two years that stayed in my heart.

We're always named as the noisiest section and the section who is always in trouble. That is US and we had real FUN. I was part of the Loyalty family when I was in 6th grade and for me that was the best year that I couldn't forget. I remember that first day of school when my heart shattered when I found out that I was separated from all of my best buds. I sat at the middle awkwardly, nervously glancing at my new classmates who's entering the classroom. I was not sure what to do but just stare at them. I just knew one face very well and it was my friend since Prep. My mind was racing and I was on the verge of tears but then I said 'hi' to a few people and mingled with them. In the first weeks I got to know each of my classmates better and starting to feel I belong. It's a great feeling, the feel of love and everyone accepting you. I realize that you really don't need to always stick with your own group but to explore because there is still a whole wide world and you meet a lot of new friends. A lot of new faces. I gained true friends in 6th grade, friends that are always in my heart. Even if they're already far away from me and they're in different countries, they still reach out to me, talk to me, comfort me and makes me feel loved.

There is whole lot of new faces, different kinds of new people, and different way of gaining friends in my freshman year. It's also a year full of joy and tears. I can say that we're all different kinds of people in our own special way gathered in one section. You can say we cannot all connect with each other and won't fall together like puzzle pieces at first glance because we vary but we prove you wrong. We love each other and care for each other like sisters. We don't hesitate to ask each other for help but we're always there for each other and work as a team but not as an individual. Our class adviser gave up in changing our seats because wherever we are seated we can't keep our mouth shut because we always share stories with each other. We're just that close that we are all comfortable with each other. Yes, we had fights but those are experiences that we had learned lessons from. We have the bond, we connect, we're like networks that can relate with each other. We had memories that we'll keep in our hearts and carry as our life goes on.

I ♥ my cousins

They're the most amazing people I've ever known. They all love and care for me dearly and I also love them from the bottom of my heart. We always have a lively time together and there is never a day that we bore each other to death. It is a great blessing to have them all in my life and I know I am very lucky to spend my life with them. These persons are the people who know who is the real Cha, the girl who plays hide and sneak at dawn, always saying yes in adventures and dares, will try all the extreme rides in a theme park even though others are already green and the girl who will never miss a happy moment with the family. The real me who is always ready to forgive, the one who's up for scary stories and horror movies but ends up in the arms of a cousin, and the cheerful girl who always say hi to everybody. They are also the ones who stood by my side when I was down and when I'm not sure of myself. They're all just one call away from me and in an instant they are there to be my friend and will help me in any situation. They're not just simple relatives but great relatives who support each other in every way they can think of. They never turned their back on me, they always have their helping hand reaching out to me whenever I need it and I know I could always trust them. They've been there since I'm a baby, acting like my guardian angels, guiding me and protecting me. I always feel safe when I'm with them and it's a good feeling when you know that you're perfectly secured in their own arms. For all the things that they gave and offered me, I will give it back by loving them more and show how much I care about them. I will never put them down nor be a disgrace but I will work hard and let them see that all their effort and kindness to me was NEVER a waste. They are my family. My REAL FAMILY and I ♥ them more than you think. ;)

My beloved Twitter

I signed up in Twitter 2 years ago just for fun and in knowing that I could tweet what I want to say. I figured out I could use it to express myself when I have no one to talk to. I didn't really plan to have many followers and follow some people but then I knew Justin Bieber and followed him on Twitter. I also followed some people who have some cool tweets and some celebrities. As time goes by, I meet a lot of friends around the world, Beliebers and awesome people. Twitter is not about how many followers you've got but how many friends you've got. You meet random people and socialize with them. Inspiring and encouraging each other with cheerful tweets and making each other laugh withe funny ones. Twitter is the socializing network that enables me to meet great friends. Sometimes I think that Twitter Friends are better than some of my real friends because they surely understand you and always got your back. They are always there when you need someone to talk to and someone to cheer you up. They just don't ignore you but they count you as a part of a whole. We help each other and never let each other down. I've built friendships there and I hope it will last forever. Twitter is also a trust-worthy source for information that you could really rely on. You could see tweets about various quotes, fun facts, environmental issues, world news, updates about your favorite book series, movies, celebrities and alike. Some tweets also boggles your mind about certain issues and makes you think deeply about it. I also learn a lot of things there like some words in different languages, how some teens like me view things in some perspective and we somehow relate with each other, some facts about other countries and a lot more. Twitter is multi-functional and I love it. I love tweeting and that is ME. :D

WANTED: Older brother

I realized I badly want an older brother. My friends say that having an older brother is chaos and I think I can picture that out. I see my cousins with older brothers fight and piss one another off. I see them quarrel and tease each other like little kids and attacking each other because the older bro got her stuff but it still doesn't change my mind to have an older brother. I want to experience the things that other girls experience who have them. Having an older brother for me is an awesome gift from God because you are really lucky to have them. I want to carry the memory forever of how an older brother truly cares, protects, and loves me but I think that's really impossible. You see, I'm an only child and I grew up with only my toys, my yaya, and my cousin in week ends for play mates. I basically lived for 14 years without siblings. Everyday when I arrive from school I have no one to talk to about what happened to my day or what I feel because it's just awkward to talk about it with my mom because I know she'll just laugh at me or whatever. It's really just different if I have a brother of my own who can willingly listen to me when I have problems and comfort me. A brother that would always lend his hand to help me and would always be there no matter what. A brother that would help me to stand on my feet again when I fall down. A brother I could share my secrets and experiences with and vice versa. A brother that I could laugh with my jokes. A brother that would love me for who I am and would accept me whole-heartedly. I know what I'm asking for is clearly beyond the bounds of possibility and I can't have a real older brother in a million years. An idea struck me that if I can not have my own older brother by blood then maybe there is someone there that could love and care for me like his own little sister. I'll wait for that day when someone will sincerely consider me his own sibling and I would be totally ecstatic.

I'm betwixt and between :|

I was brainstorming on what my topic will be in this blog and ended up with two topics:
1. One that I really wanted to talk about but I am scared to because I might offend some people OR
2. Something I really love to talk about but people have been posting about it and it's already a hackneyed topic.
So I was stuck with that two subjects and my mind's literally screaming at me to choose one, at once or else I'll take more time with this. Obviously, I didn't choose one of those options and just decided to talk about whatever I want. I guess it doesn't matter. As I'm typing here my brain is thinking random thingamajigs and it's all messed up. I didn't know how to prioritize, so I'm pretty well mucked up. Life is about decisions and it's either that or this. Mind you, fellow, one small mistake would blow everything off. Be wise and know what to choose. I chose amusement over studies, now my conscience is flashing 'Yeah girl, HORRIBLE IDEA'. If I just sacrificed a week of not using the Internet and study. If I just listened to my mom and her threats. If I just knew how to prioritize. If I just knew this will all happen. I would have done better with my exams. Ifs that wouldn't do anything but continue to remind me of my failures. Too late, exams had passed and I'm left to wait for that horrifying day that makes my stomach do a back-flip and a somersault...Card Day. I know I didn't do well in most of my exams but I'm still hoping that I will not receive my most feared grade or else I'm really doomed. I promise to do A LOT better on the second grading and I will sacrifice. This time, I'll compromise and do my best to concentrate on the lessons. The next time after exams, I would be sitting here confident of my grades and not like today that I'm nervous and terrified of what the results will be.

"The Blood Countess"

My cousins and I were watching a movie called 'Stay Alive' and that's where I actually saw a cartooned version of Elizabeth of Bathory also known as 'The Blood Countess'. When I saw her I was intrigued why was she in a bathtub filled with blood. My cousin gave me the briefest outline of why is Elizabeth in a pool of blood. She was known for killing innocent maidens and bathe in their blood in belief that she will gain immortal beauty. As I research further about her in interest of how did she got that far in killing people I discovered that she was excessively vain and her narcissism drove her to the new depths of perversion. When her husband, Ferencz Nadasdy, was away for a military campaign she began visiting her lesbian aunt, Countess Klara Bathory. Klara was a sort of a nymphomaniac who also enjoys killing in a Roman way. Elizabeth became acquainted with the art of inflicting pain and death. She also became interested in Black Magic. Thorko, a servant in her castle, taught her in the ways of witchcraft and encouraging her sadistic measures. When her husband was home, he also took part in torturing the servants. She tortured the servants in an underground chamber using all the worst instruments of torture. Elizabeth began to age and tried to conceal it with the most expensive cosmetics and clothes. They said that she started bathing in blood when one girl servant accidentally pulled her hair while combing it and the Countess slapped the servant's hand so hard she drew blood, which fell to her own hand. She immediately thought that her skin absorbed the freshness of the young servant. She thought she found the secret of immortal beauty. She began killing maidens all over the neighboring villages and performed the bloodbath. She slaughtered over 6oo maidens that she used for bloodbath and tortured her servants in the most horrid way mankind can think of. Elizabeth would be the most dreadful woman tormentor I've ever known.